Like many people I read my Facebook posts by others. Some posts are a post on a web article. It matters not the source. Articles are sometimes contentious raising opposing critical opinions in comments.
What has disturbed me lately is the attitude of many females towards another female. Critical, denigrating and totally unsupportive.
Interestingly I don’t often recall the content of the post itself, but rather the tone of comments. One recent post triggered a response in myself that I had to post a comment on my page to vent my reaction to what I frequently see…
I’m curious – I see posts about various women’s issues – and the flood of comments from other women with a ‘suck it up’ attitude – or the ‘that’s what equality is for’ is astounding. Where is the support for our fellow sisters? The respect and compassion? When did women become hard arsed bitches to other females and so denigrating? When did females decide that its our lot to suffer and be victims and anyone who dares to question or raise a question about women’s justice rather than equality become a target for others? And women complain about men’s attitudes?
I am constantly amazed that humans continue to attack another for their action or opinion. Perhaps I have a world view that allows for multiple perspectives that are of value as much as another. But then I know myself I have strong opinions on many subjects.
What I find the most hard to understand is the attitude today that one woman can judge and criticise another for her choices. I see comments that put another down based on the outcomes of women’s liberation in seeking equality for women. To my mind they miss the understanding of the difference between equality and justice.
When the subject matter is one of women’s issues it is so destructive to criticise another’s action or view point by posting a ‘suck it up’ negative response. Where is the compassion, support and understanding?
As humans we do life hard in many regards. As females we face issues that males don’t (and vice versa). But somewhere in my mind is the sense that we do more good by supporting, encouragement, positive modelling and gentleness. An overly critical attack does nothing more than to deflate, put down and devalue another.
Commenting on public on social media sites allows us to voice our opinion to the masses. But does it have to attack another for their action and point of view that is not criminal but merely a choice they make?
To criticise is to denigrate, put down, voice disapproval of another’s actions or thoughts. To pass judgement on another means we are placing our beliefs and attitudes on another. Yet who are we to determine that our own beliefs and attitudes are correct, or are in deed our own well thought out responses rather than a societies accepted viewpoint?
We are not alone in being critised, nor in criticising others. Indeed all of us at one time or another have faced criticism and disapproval whether from family, friends, colleagues, people in authority or a stranger we have never met. It serves nothing more than to make the one verbally attacking feel more powerful, or in a position of correctness and authority over another, and the one facing criticism feel small and worthless. Yet rarely do we have the full story before we let fly with our opinions nor does is provide anything positive to who or what we are criticising. It is after all merely placing our values on another.
Yet when we take a moment to consider our words and our response to something we disapprove of, we can often find in ourselves a gentler, more constructive approach that supports, encourages, holds space or provides guidance that another is seeking. In taking that moment and time, we might even wonder why we are criticising and where our own attitude or belief comes from. And do we actually subscribe to what we voice, or are we just repeating what we have been taught to believe?
Perhaps it is just easier to sit back and judge and feel smug in our attitude and opinions as if we are right and another wrong. In reality there isn’t much that is black or white, but mostly various shades of grey. And within that wide variety of grey lies a truth for that particular situation and that particular person that does not deserve unthought out criticism designed purely to put another down.
Oh how humanity loves to point out others faults as if to say we ourselves are holier than thou. How would our world be if instead of fault finding and criticism and passing judgement, we practiced compassion and understanding and learnt to truly listen to what we all have to say?