Addiction? Obsession? Frustrated organisation? Or perhaps a simply a love of beautiful paper and the desire to create … one day. I have been reading and googling and yes starting to (finally) create. But I have this little problem. A bit like handbags and jeans. I am never (quite) satisfied. So I continue to search, endlessly. It drives me crazy. I tell myself to just STOP and just use what I have. And I have a lot. More than any one person needs. But still the little voice inside says MORE.
I guess I’m also a collector. But which aspect is the most dominant? Hard to say. Just look at my house. It’s filled with stuff. Stuff I love of course. I seem to be forever rearranging and reorganising however. I did it again yesterday when I was cleaning for a house inspection on Monday. Swapped over a couple of pieces of furniture because the entrance to my house was too tight. The flow (yes of chi) is better now. But the flow of chi around my art and craft supplies? Well I guess I’m getting there. Tho I suspect I am actually in dire need of a rather large studio. However I make do in this area as I always have.
I was reading about doodling and tangling, moved to art journalling and collage and onto journals and paper. I went hunting and gathered my moleskines. Most unused as yet. Why? Because in a way I am loath to tarnish the pristine pages. I saw my pile of Paperblanks and found my Strathmore journals. Then really noticed, OK again, the pile of journals I have. Mostly half filled. I have a tendency to use a journal or notebook for a specific subject or theme. But as I am want to do, I get side-tracked. Find something new to explore and of course hunt out a brand new notebook to fill.
Perhaps it’s time to gather them all in one place. I noticed my fathers neatly arranged diaries. Both my parents keep a daily diary and have done for most of their lives. Mine however are different. I rarely write a diary. Rather I tend to collect thoughts and quotes and inspiration and journal erratically. My parents both love quotes and the written word. In fact my father published locally a small book of his favourite quotes. Now he keeps them on his computer. Me, I like to handwrite them.
I have a ‘thing’ about pens and pencils too. More than enough yet never enough. I have finally got some order to my art supplies. In a way. Yet I am still not satisfied. I pick them up, put them down, move them around. I rarely write or draw in my office. Preferring instead the kitchen table or lounge in front of DVDs. But now that I have tidied and cleaned my house, perhaps it’s time to really sort them all out. I turned my office into an art room. A work room. And yes I occassionally head there. I’m not sure what it is about the room that I do not spend the time I should in there but gravitate to the lounge. Perhaps because my journals and notebooks also reside there? In baskets by the lounge.
So being a lazy Sunday with nothing much planned except the delightful company of my son visiting on holidays, and given the rather drab weather outside, perhaps this is the task for today. To sort, finally, into some order, that which I have. And of course to create. To write, paint, collage and doodle. After all that is what I love doing the most. At the moment at least. And yes, despite my frustrations with disorganised and half-finished journals, I have been doing art. Quite a lot in fact. Some I am well pleased with, some not so, and some more half-finished. Of course. Waiting I’m not sure for what.