Finally, my smexi car has had her service, and she got a car detail on Thursday. Tho she’s again dusty. Black does show every little spec. My good friend picked me up after I dropped the car off. Coffee for him, and chai tea on soy for me. Yes I’m fussy. The conversation turned to relationships and the choices we make in life. Being relatively happy in a marriage, yet knowing one could be happier still if a different choice was made. In the end he knows he will hurt two women in his life.
Our warped humour turned to how much simpler in one respect being widowed would be. Ok financially a lot better off than divorce. I know so many males who have been or would be left destitute and having to fully rebuild as the result of divorce. A few females too. Consequently they stay in less than ideal, for them, relationships. Not really knowing what to do, and trying to make the best of what they have.
I also know many bitter women who’s husbands left them. Being left with the kids to look after, the house and bills to pay. Whilst I cannot judge either or any, I sometimes wonder how many of us think beyond ourselves. I know so many marriages where one gives, the other takes. And yes, a lot of the givers are males too. And sadly, I know very few couples, who in mid-life, are both happily married to the partner of choice.
I stopped and realised it’s been three and a half years since I called my marriage to an end. How time flies. Yet at the time of ending it went ever so slowly. When I crawl into bed at night, I am still amazed that in 51 years I have only lived one of them by myself. Family, to house sharing to marriage, albeit the latter late in my twenties. I wonder at times at this rush we seem to have to find a partner, marry, settle down and raise kids. Especially now that it is not uncommon to live well and relatively healthy into our 80s. In all honesty I am only now starting to feel that I know myself and who I am.
Talking of the realities of living alone, we decided we really must get keys cut to each others place. He lives close, but his wife lives away much of the year. Although neither of us are old, decripid or ill, we still run the risk of taking ill or having an accident, and no one being able to get into our houses. Although I have friends in the same city, they live further away. No one else has keys to either of our houses. This was brought to mind some months ago when I had a nasty pain episode in the middle of the night. Even if I called anyone, they would be unable to get in. Yet we think this only happens to the elderly.
Coffee finished, and time still before my car was ready, we headed to a park. Remote control helicopter in tow. He’d bought himself one recently. I laughed cos I’d thought of doing the same. Like teenagers we laughter as it got stuck in a tree. As did the stick we threw at it, before the helicopter returned to earth. Camera in hand, I wandered the two parks we checked out, whilst he tried to figure out how to use his new toy. The feeling of being out under a beautiful blue sky, surrounded by fresh green parks and beautiful trees was inspiring. And such a child like feeling again. We don’t indulge ourselves enough as we grow older in being child like. It’s healthy and healing.
Collecting my car, we went our own ways, to do what we do on our weekends. Washing, shopping, catching up on things around the house, and yes arvo nanny nap planned for me. Stopping at the art shop, I grabbed more pens and pads. I will have time to doodle and fill my latest hobby. Daily doodling, zentangling and journalling. The one joy of living alone, is the time to indulge in hobbies and friendships. Returning home I count my blessings of now living alone, getting to know me again, and enjoying the things that I do.
Lorikeets in the trees watching
As he flew his helicopter
And I photographed the bark upon the trees
And the surrounding greenery