gallery Reflecting on the past

I got to thinking today. Something I rarely do. (Yeah right, my brain never stops). How time flies. Where have the 50 years that this earth has had the pleasure of my existence gone? Three years it’s been since I decided to end my marriage. Looking at photos on my laptop I realised I’d lost track of the years. I started a time line. Tracking when I did what. Knowing that I will be amazed at how long it has been since some events in my life. Yet they seem like only yesterday.

Talking to my parents today, dad said he’d help. He sent me a time line since my childhood. He has kept diaries all his life. Dad told me he and mum were trying to remember the name of a place they’d stayed in once. Of course they could find the answer because dad had recorded it. He writes daily. A life time habit. How wonderful to be able to grab a diary from years ago and recall an event. I grabbed from my bookshelf the four books my father published. Reading briefly his prose. He has a talent I never fully appreciated. Perhaps he will let me share and publish some of his beautiful works on here. I would like to add a category for his wonderful words. I will ask him tomorrow, if he doesn’t read this before hand.

It is from my beautiful parents that I have gained the respect and love of writing in journal form. Thought I have a different style, it is the many years of watching them each morning write in their diaries over a cup of tea. My love of nature, creativity, and art they passed to me. My mother commented on the number of red-backed wrens they saw today on their walk and how I would have loved to have been there camera in hand.

I started to think about when I had started writing again. Of course it was on and off. Grabbing one diary I was surprised … 2007. I started to read snippets. Wow. I was in a dark space even then. Despite this I would like to transcribe them on to here, over a series of blogs. They capture the thoughts and themes that flowed into my mind at that time. I was experimenting with what I guess some call automatic writing. But in reality it was a case of grabbing a notebook and writing. No thinking. Just what ever came into my mind. Some of my writings were deep. An exploration of life and meaning and the journey of the soul. Interesting to say the least.

I checked my blog page here. Two years ago I started it. Under another name. ‘Confronting the realities of life in an ever changing world’. I think that is what I titled it. ‘Spinning Rapidly’ was the theme. For then I was in the midst of the most chaotic period in my life. As I check back now, I tag, and update. I will not correct my grammar from then. For I wrote in a slightly different style. Similar to now. But different. Rapid as usual.

I decide now I will add a new category here. One where I will log in my writings from the preceding 3 years before I started this blog. It has been an erratic journey, my writings. But I have, for the past fortnight now, written consistently, often more than once a day. It is a great catharsis for my overly busy mind. For when I write, the thoughts are free to leave. Giving me space to view life from a slightly different angle. A step to the right, or left, so to speak.


One comment

  1. You know how much I love this post! Happy 50 years of existence. I can feel the love for your family. I turned 34 in August. A large group of my friends are 50 this year.


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