gallery What a lucky bitch am I

I am reading Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas … http://www.deniseduffieldthomas.com … I ordered the electronic copy and reading on my iPad .. FINALLY .. ok I downloaded the book some time ago … but NOW is the RIGHT time to be reading it 🙂

So much in this book is so very valuable .. actually ALL of it 🙂 …for myself I have been doing much of what Denise talks about … I think from early days of reading The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale … through so many others .. including The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz … and now reading Lucky Bitch it is like pulling it all together and adding the missing pieces …

When I was reading it so many things went through my mind .. I had to take out pen and paper … and WRITE … I have missed doing this so much .. and it is one of my GOALS … to write again DAILY … together with keeping a GRATITUDE JOURNAL … and so I have started on this path …

Denise writes in her book about the forgiveness exercise … “I forgive you .. I’m sorry .. I love you ” ….this in relation to ourselves – self forgiveness – and others … She suggests writing everything down then taking 30 minutes to go through the list and FORGIVE …

And I had a flash .. I had done this last years .. sans the writing part .. but I took time out and mentally went back to the beginning of my life and looked at every incident I recalled that caused me embarrassment, pain, grief, despair … and I FORGAVE … in doing so I forgave MYSELF … for too long I have too hard on myself .. my own worst enemy .. no one could be harder on me than me … and through the support of some beautiful people over the years .. and I mean almost constantly … and yes it takes some time for things to go through my very convoluted brain … I finally accepted and changed and learnt to forgive and love myself … in doing so it was extremely easy to love others 🙂

I noticed that I had let go – had forgiven – had detached from my past … what my past became was a series of experiences, good and bad and a few ugly, that challenged me to grow to become the person I knew was inside and out. I took the 20/20 vision of hindsight .. and took off the rose-coloured glasses … and looked at what they past had taught me … how everything was a learning experience that led me to this point.

Change is inevitable in our lives. If we want to grow and to be happy, to live our dream, we have to constantly change, adapt and move out of our comfort zone, and yes, do the hard work. Does it feel like hard work? No .. I was ‘lucky’ to be conditioned early… moving so frequently, learning to adapt to new environments, make new friends. My mother always worried what this effect would have on us 3 children … and now I see it as the blessing it was 🙂  Did I get tired? Yes – I sat too long in middle life, I felt drained and I lost my momentum and motivation. I kept pushing myself in other ways – study – hobbies – work.

The end of my marriage was like the end of a contract. I had fulfilled a contract to bring two beautiful souls into this world .. souls who have a unique and distinct purpose for being here. We raised them to be the beautiful and independent young people they are today. My husband was the rock that kept us all stable and grounded. Yes it took its toll on us in different ways. My contract was to care for my beautiful parents and husband and that I did … they are all well and healthy even after years when they each were in a way close to going – tho I do not think they realise that and it is ok 🙂 For all of us we are now individually happy and content in our lives … My parents have moved back to Qld, my mother is now on home ground and close to her sisters children. My children opted to stay with their father in Perth .. and this has provided an opportunity for the three of them to grow closer. I know my children will eventually move east, and possibly overseas.

Two pieces of wisdom from my parents … My father told my mother when I was born … ‘hold her gently, we are only caring for her for  a while’ … that they imparted to me and that is how I raised my children. My mother told me (ok after the fact but perhaps I hadn’t heard the first time) ‘Relationships are like a garden, they must be tended regularly or they wither and die’ … and sadly neither of us tended our relationship. And perhaps it had run the length of the contract. Needless to say, we are both individually happier people now, and the children are happier cos we are happier, and my parents are happier because we are happier 🙂

2 1/2 years ago I told my husband I wanted out .. 2 years ago I quit my stressful job. The last 2 years .. out of 50 … well not bad in a way ..2 years of ‘time out’ where I learnt about me .. how to relax… 2 years to just be and enjoy life. Something I had always wanted and yes this was provided. Contract work then the sale of the house gave me cash to just be .. to move to Brisbane where I had wanted to be for some time .. to set myself up here.  And now I feel that stage has closed. I see the signs internally and externally. And I know I am on the next path, the next journey in my  life.

I have a ‘can do’ attitude now – the fear is lessening and I can look at it to see where I still need to do work on myself

I am at peace, internally. I am living my dream, my life. I am living a magickal life.

I am forever thankful and grateful

I love myself. I love who I’ve become and I love my life

I am renewed -reborn – regenerated.

Like the dragonfly I have found my wings

Like the phoenix I have died and been reborn, renewed and risen from the ashes.

I am fully alive here and now in every moment in this wonderful life.

I am forever blessed.

*****************

This morning I posted the following on my Facebook page .. and thought it should really be in my blog 🙂

….

Here’s a thought while reading Lucky Bitch .. when someone tells you their plans, intentions or dream .. and you start out with all the negatives and pitfalls .. STOP … have a look at what YOU said … chances are they are YOUR issues to deal with not the one you’re talking to …

“What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams.” (from The Four Agreements) ..

Hence whatever WE say to another is a projection of OUR own reality .. OUR own issues … don’t squash another’s plans because of YOUR issues .. SUPPORT and ENCOURAGE them completely on their path 🙂 the gift you receive back is beyond anything you imagine 🙂 ..

And manifesting? well how bout this one .. I complained late last year that I hadn’t felt supported and encouraged in previous relationships .. so I was asked the hard question by 2 beautiful ladies I was working with … where am I not being supportive and encouraging .. hmmm that was hard to take but I did so … and in doing so I put out to the universe MY desire to meet someone special who WOULD support and encourage me as I wanted to support and encourage him 🙂 well guess what … it worked 😀

As to income hmmm well I REALLY want my practice to take off… and yes ive had some fears that have held me back .. now I know what they are .. and this job keeps coming up … I read the criteria and it’s what ive done before and loved and yes I can EASILY do it .. and the salary ? more than enough for me to live on … the ONE thing stopping me was the thought that it was EITHER my practice or a job .. then I though … why not both? together I get to meet so many more potential clients .. I get to do another thing I always enjoyed doing and i get to use my hard-earned skills talent and knowledge in another rewarding area … so now I AM going for BOTH because I KNOW I can do it … and the fear I had of having another breakdown from sheer exhaustion? its flicked … I KNOW the universe will not let that happen because THIS time I am LISTENING and taking heed 🙂 … this job is MINE and I am writing the application precisely with WHY I am THE best candidate for the position 🙂 … and WOW .. I had seriously forgotten what my dream actually was .. I focused on one half .. the dream job for me … to have my own practice AND to have work in management where I enjoy it best … ok I had initially had them as part-time .. I just didn’t clarify 50-50 lol … so yes my dream is manifesting in relation to my ‘work’ … need to work on the specifics tho …

As to my dream life? its HERE I HAVE my beautiful home … it’s rented and set out EXACTLY how I want it … and I have much gratitude to Blin for all her beautiful hard work as she showed me JUST how to make it look how I wanted 🙂 she saw the vision in my mind and was the means to help me create it 🙂

I HAVE time (for the moment and no I didn’t clarify a length of time) to RELAX truly … to have time to do my craftwork, read, blog etc …

I AM living in Brisbane 🙂 a dream I’ve had for some years 🙂

Am I manifesting? HELL YEAH … am I living my dream ? HELL YEAH …
I have found my peace inside .. I have found my bliss … I am EXACTLY where I am meant to be .. and I am TOTALLY loving EVERY moment of living in the NOW .. I have closed one precious chapter in my life … learnt so many lessons and look back in love and utter awe how things panned out 🙂 … I am now starting my next chapter in life .. my NEW journey .. and I KNEW I would be 🙂

Brightest blessings my beautiful friends … I think the above should go in my blog and it will 🙂 …. may you find your dreams .. may you manifest ALL that you truly desire 🙂 big hugs and welcome what the universe has for YOU with open arms 🙂

I had for a while intended to do a DREAM BOARD … and reading Lucky Bitch I decided the time was NOW …and yes I could do it totally on my computer … this is my first dream board .. no doubt the first of many too 🙂

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